This is a small piece to explain why on Sunday afternoon, between 3pm and 5pm, my Twitter feed will be a mix of football, cursing, drinking, swearing and classic rock.

It’s that time of the year again! The last game of the football season, and my team (Gillingham) are in very real danger of being relegated from their current league (League 1) to the league below (League 2). At the moment we’re in 20^th place – finishing 21^st or below means we spend next season in a lesser league with lower quality, smaller attendances and less money from both league position and people watching. It’s not good.

Here’s the table as it stands:

As it’s three points for a win, and one for a draw, the only team below us who can overtake are Port Vale. Here’s how it could go.

If Gillingham win: it doesn’t matter what happens elsewhere, we finish the season on 52 points and we stay up. There’s a party at the game, much is drunk in celebration.

If Gillingham draw: we finish on 50 points. We stay up IF Port Vale don’t win (i.e. they draw or lose). Even if they do win, if Bury lose heavily then they get relegated instead. Not an ideal situation as our fate is in the hands of others.

If Gillingham lose: we stay on 49 points. If Port Vale also lose, we stay up, drink, be merry, have fun. If Port Vale draw then we also stay up, unless we lose by a difference of seven goals or more (a slim possibility, odds on Bet365 are currently 1680/1 on such an event) in which case we finish on the same points and get relegated due to having an inferior goal difference (Goals Scored over the season minus Goals Conceded over the season). If Port Vale win, we’re down.

So, all things considered, the best outcome is if Gillingham go for a win, so we have our fate in our own hands. But how likely is this? Well, in our last game (at home, to Fleetwood - remember that name) we took the lead twice, before contriving to lose 3-2. Our match before that we lost 3-0 away at local rivals Charlton, a game I went to but the team didn’t really turn up at. Before that we won at home to Bristol Rovers, a team at the top end of the table, with two late goals that were rather lucky. Form is not on our side.

But what about the team we’re playing? We’re away at Northampton. They’re a few places above us, safe from relegation and ideally already thinking about their holidays, so in theory shouldn’t be that motivated. However it’s the last home game of the season so they’ll want to send their fans off happily with a win. Not only that, their manager (Justin Edinburgh) used to manage Gillingham until halfway through this season when he was fired – rumours are that the players turned against him and stopped putting in any effort (although that malaise has been in the squad since January 2016 so honestly, how would we know?) and as it’s always nice to get one over your ex, there may be added motivation there.

Port Vale are playing Fleetwood, who have promotion to play for (and beat us on Saturday as well) so a Vale win is by no means guaranteed, although they won at Walsall on Tuesday night. 

You may be feeling a small sense of deja vu. Haven't you read about Gillingham trying to escape relegation on this very blog, seven or so years ago? You'd be right. Things didn't go our way that time, and because of this I'm shouting down the urges to spend my day travelling to the Midlands to cheer on my team. Instead I'll be sitting on the couch as my wife plays Stardew Valley, listening to radio commentary and refreshing Twitter while drinking in celebration or dismay. Come join me! It'll be fun.

James Rennt

I realise I've been quiet for a few weeks on here, but that's mostly because I haven't run. My stitches have finally healed, and I planned to run twice on my holiday.

The first run was intended to be on Friday morning, going from Dana's home village in Germany over the Dutch border into Holland. I wanted to cross an international border on a run but as it was a) stinking hot, b) around 20k there and back and c) my holiday, I ended up staying home and reading instead.

However, I had a backup plan. We took the train to Berlin on Sunday, and Monday morning Dana and I walked from our hotel to the Tiergarten, a whacking great park in the middle of the capital. I'd earmarked this as another run, and after missing my earlier run, this was going to count. (Also, by running on the first morning of our stay in Berlin I could drink as much as I wanted for the rest of our stay without feeling guilty!)

 I started on the western side of the park, and had a rough idea to head east as I planned to finish in front of the Brandenburg Gate, but had no set route in mind. I mostly stuck to the paths, but occasionally running through the flat green garden areas - it was a nice proper parkrun, without worrying about barcodes, times or other runners! I made up my route on the fly, darting hither and yon whenever I saw something that took my interest (such as the Beethoven monument). I kept to a fairly even pace, slower than my usual 5k runs as I had a busy few days ahead of me, only speeding up to look good in front of tourists.

Round past the Holocaust Memorial, which was a sobering sight during my run, and I realised that I was coming in a kilometre short - I wouldn't finish in front of the Gate. Across the six lanes of traffic, pausing in the middle for a selfie in front of the Monument - it was a convenient break, as there were cars coming - and through for my first run in the northern half of the park. I took a left, past an adorable red squirrel, and across the face of the Red Army War Memorial (commemorating Soviet soldiers who lost their lives in World War II - unfortunately this ended up in Allied areas of Berlin during the Cold War, so couldn't be accessed by Russians!). I briefly raced a rider on a Ducati who sportingly waited until his traffic light turned green before blasting past me, and finished in front of the Reichstag building. I wanted to run up the lovely stepped entrance, Rocky style, but the steps were barriered off and German police have guns, so decided not to!

My final tally was 5.1km in 36 minutes and 59 seconds - not a bad time for a relaxed run. I was also pleased that my watch had stopped messing about and timed me properly!

As a postscript, I'm planning on running at my usual parkrun tomorrow morning, as it'll be the first step on my training plan towards Brighton 2018 - yes, I'm running the Brighton marathon next year!